Post by linlin on May 19, 2005 9:54:46 GMT 10
I would like to share with all my very own experience here, no matter if you are currently living with your in-laws or living on your own (lucky you!).
I knew right from the beginning, my parents-in-law never really did approve of my husband & me being together. Reason being I am 6 years older than my husband, I do not know how to speak their language (Cantonese) & I live thousands of miles away from them (they are afraid that one day my husband will move to Singapore). MIL tried to interfere in her son’s decision but she gave up in the end because my husband was very persistence in what he wanted for himself. I know deep down in her heart, if she could have a say in it, she would definitely still disapprove of us even until today.
I must say it was never smooth from Day 1 I moved in till now. Some people might think otherwise about living with the in-laws but I always believe that no matter how good your relationship is with your in-laws, there will always be conflicts arising living under one roof, it is just a matter of time. Before I continue with the story, let me first introduce to you my in-laws:
FIL – rarely at home except on his off day which is currently Wednesday, works long hours in a restaurant, hobby is watching TV.
MIL – naggy housewife who can repeat herself day after day without realizing she’s talking about the same thing all over & over, hobby is playing Mahjong.
SIL – lives in Oakland, comes back here to stay for a few days now & then to spend time with her son.
BIL – super night owl who can stay up really late into the night & sleeps early in the morning until noon, hobbies are gambling & drinking.
Nephew – 9 years old turning 10 this August, never keen on studying & loves to play whole day long. I gave up long ago on coaching him.
So this is them. The people that I've lived with for the past 1 year. It is definitely not easy living with people that are considered as "strangers" right from the beginning. Here is a list of inconveniences that I've faced & still facing for as long as I live here:
a) I can’t walk around “bra-less” or wear anything lesser because FIL & BIL are always watching TV in the living room, & our bedroom is just next to it!
b) As they like to turn on the TV really loud, I always have a hard time sleeping in peace. The earliest FIL finishes his TV shows is around 2 or 3am. Once BIL used the juicer at 3am in the morning, I was woken up by the noise...can you imagine how pissed off I got?
c) They eat dinner at 10pm every night because both FIL & BIL come back late from work, so MIL also expects us to wait up & eat with them this late. It’s definitely a NO NO to me because that is just so abnormal, don’t you think so? That was also how my husband got his upset stomach from.
d) If FIL sees me eating other food than rice, he will comment that I always don’t eat. Yes, even interfering in what I eat!
e) MIL loves to eat out, for some reasons. Every time I say no to eating out, she will keep asking me for the reason until she gets an answer, relentless huh?
f) If I am cooking & FIL happens to be at home, he would stand aside & watch what I'm doing. Very uncomfortable, I'm sure not everybody likes to be watched.
g) Every time I want to do my laundry, I would surely find clothes in the washer that’s not been put into the dryer or clothes that are in the dryer that’s not taken out for days. Annoying.
h) No one bothers to clean & upkeep the house. Things are thrown every where, messy all over & sometimes the men even pee on the toilet seat…disgusting! Lucky thing is my husband has been trained by me to lift up the seat…haha!
i) They like to walk with shoes on around the house. Maybe that’s why they think, what’s the point of cleaning it?
By far, these are some of the reasons I hate living with my in-laws. There is absolutely no privacy & space for us. Sometimes they are just inconsiderate. BIL even complained that we should move upstairs & exchange bedroom with the parents so that they can enjoy watching TV loudly in the living room even tho he himself has a satellite which allows hundreds of channels right in his own bedroom! As I see it, it will still be noisy no matter which room we move to. It is about consideration for the others, not about exchanging bedrooms or not.
I can definitely understand the feelings of living with in-laws better now than ever before. For those who never ever live with your in-laws, you are so d**n lucky & hope you stay in this way for a long long time. For those who are like me, having to put up & deal with inconveniences, I sincerely hope you can find a way out sooner or later. Patience is a virtue, let's just hope for a better tomorrow. I know mine will be here soon
I knew right from the beginning, my parents-in-law never really did approve of my husband & me being together. Reason being I am 6 years older than my husband, I do not know how to speak their language (Cantonese) & I live thousands of miles away from them (they are afraid that one day my husband will move to Singapore). MIL tried to interfere in her son’s decision but she gave up in the end because my husband was very persistence in what he wanted for himself. I know deep down in her heart, if she could have a say in it, she would definitely still disapprove of us even until today.
I must say it was never smooth from Day 1 I moved in till now. Some people might think otherwise about living with the in-laws but I always believe that no matter how good your relationship is with your in-laws, there will always be conflicts arising living under one roof, it is just a matter of time. Before I continue with the story, let me first introduce to you my in-laws:
FIL – rarely at home except on his off day which is currently Wednesday, works long hours in a restaurant, hobby is watching TV.
MIL – naggy housewife who can repeat herself day after day without realizing she’s talking about the same thing all over & over, hobby is playing Mahjong.
SIL – lives in Oakland, comes back here to stay for a few days now & then to spend time with her son.
BIL – super night owl who can stay up really late into the night & sleeps early in the morning until noon, hobbies are gambling & drinking.
Nephew – 9 years old turning 10 this August, never keen on studying & loves to play whole day long. I gave up long ago on coaching him.
So this is them. The people that I've lived with for the past 1 year. It is definitely not easy living with people that are considered as "strangers" right from the beginning. Here is a list of inconveniences that I've faced & still facing for as long as I live here:
a) I can’t walk around “bra-less” or wear anything lesser because FIL & BIL are always watching TV in the living room, & our bedroom is just next to it!
b) As they like to turn on the TV really loud, I always have a hard time sleeping in peace. The earliest FIL finishes his TV shows is around 2 or 3am. Once BIL used the juicer at 3am in the morning, I was woken up by the noise...can you imagine how pissed off I got?
c) They eat dinner at 10pm every night because both FIL & BIL come back late from work, so MIL also expects us to wait up & eat with them this late. It’s definitely a NO NO to me because that is just so abnormal, don’t you think so? That was also how my husband got his upset stomach from.
d) If FIL sees me eating other food than rice, he will comment that I always don’t eat. Yes, even interfering in what I eat!
e) MIL loves to eat out, for some reasons. Every time I say no to eating out, she will keep asking me for the reason until she gets an answer, relentless huh?
f) If I am cooking & FIL happens to be at home, he would stand aside & watch what I'm doing. Very uncomfortable, I'm sure not everybody likes to be watched.
g) Every time I want to do my laundry, I would surely find clothes in the washer that’s not been put into the dryer or clothes that are in the dryer that’s not taken out for days. Annoying.
h) No one bothers to clean & upkeep the house. Things are thrown every where, messy all over & sometimes the men even pee on the toilet seat…disgusting! Lucky thing is my husband has been trained by me to lift up the seat…haha!
i) They like to walk with shoes on around the house. Maybe that’s why they think, what’s the point of cleaning it?
By far, these are some of the reasons I hate living with my in-laws. There is absolutely no privacy & space for us. Sometimes they are just inconsiderate. BIL even complained that we should move upstairs & exchange bedroom with the parents so that they can enjoy watching TV loudly in the living room even tho he himself has a satellite which allows hundreds of channels right in his own bedroom! As I see it, it will still be noisy no matter which room we move to. It is about consideration for the others, not about exchanging bedrooms or not.
I can definitely understand the feelings of living with in-laws better now than ever before. For those who never ever live with your in-laws, you are so d**n lucky & hope you stay in this way for a long long time. For those who are like me, having to put up & deal with inconveniences, I sincerely hope you can find a way out sooner or later. Patience is a virtue, let's just hope for a better tomorrow. I know mine will be here soon
I am feeling better than before, tho sometimes I still ask myself how I ended up here, I try not to dwell on it too much these days & focus more on my future. Hopefully I will get out of this situation by summer time, I'm glad I have u gals here for me!
